Film Reviews


By • Apr 5th, 2010 •

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The death knell of Greek mythology. Bury the Kraken.

Embarrassing and not worth wearing 3D glasses for 106 minutes. In fact, I did not even notice any 3D effects.

We are introduced to the ancient Greek’s reality of gods and goddesses running the universe and meddling into the affairs of the peasantry. Once it was reality; now merely childish and fanciful mythology.

The once colorful myth is the story of Perseus (Sam Worthington) who is saved from death as an infant by a fisherman. Since he is the only survivor of a catastrophe, he is immediately deemed a demi-god – the son of Zeus and a mortal woman.

Perseus is a fisherman and that is exactly what he wants to do – even though he doesn’t have a family or a boat anymore. He protests being acknowledged as a demi-god. He wants to fish.

Just so happens that there is a squabble going on between Zeus (Liam Neeson) and his hunched-back brother, Hades (Ralph Fiennes). As played by Fiennes, Hades is an unhappy supplicant to the mighty Zeus. He’s miserable with his post as overlord to the Underworld.

As directed by Louis Leterrier, Hades is a sniveling, idolatry-driven sycophant – you know the type. The less-successful non-movie star sibling who keeps getting in trouble with the law. Hades keeps looking up to Zeus with an unnatural obsession. Where is Aphrodite when you need her?

With the humans becoming less dependent on the good will of the gods and goddesses, Zeus agrees to allow Hades to unleash hell and cause mayhem.

In order to restore order, Perseus must save Argos. Hades demands the sacrifice of Princess Andromeda (Alexa Davalos), as a peace offering to the gods. Assisted by Draco (Mads Mikkelsen), Perseus meets up with a formerly-human king (Jason Flemyng), a monstrous scorpion, and Medusa – who deserves her own movie.

The most annoying part of the story is Perseus’ ever-present and meddlesome guardian angel (Gemma Arterton). Perseus can either choose the Princess or the immortal angel.

And then there is the Kraken! All I can say about the feared Kraken is it is big and messy.

Now on to Worthington. As pre-demi-god Perseus, he’s hunched over and refuses to accept that Zeus is his father. One quick sword lesson and he’s ready to purge the world of the Kraken. Leterrier must have had a lot of delegating to do on this big project because Worthington is left to his own acting devices – (a) looking confused or (b) shell-shocked.

Also left to their own direction, Neeson and Fiennes star in their own movies – never making any meaningful contact with each other. Either they were paid a great deal of money or were contracted for a paid vacation in Africa for a weekend.

Yes, the vista is grand and the special effects impressive, but the 3D is rather dismal. And, with all the hail that Worthington has gotten, it is clear he needs a strong director to guide his performances. Or, an acting coach.

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