Film Reviews


By • Mar 24th, 2005 •

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Warner Bros. Pictures / Castle Rock Entertainment, in association with Village Roadshow Pictures presents
a Fortis Films production
MPAA rating PG-13 / Running time — 115 minutes

QUOTE: Nice poster.

Gossip sites reporting that entertainment host Pat O’Brien (The Insider) had voluntarily entered rehab for alcohol abuse led me to the website “Screenhead” which has posted the many voice mails “allegedly” sent by Pat to some “hot” woman at a function both attended. The vulgar, X-rated sex talk is wild! Pat, or someone who sounds exactly like him, wants three-way sex (but the “hot woman” has to pretend to be into his girlfriend), to get some prostitutes, do coke, and get crazy! The obscene sex talk by Pat makes me almost forgive his kneeling and grasping at the thighs of Bennifer (her and him) during the GIGLI PR onslaught he was gleefully a part of. The term “lap hound” is appropriate here.

What’s next? A Pat O’Brien sex tape?

FBI agent Gracie Hart (Sandra Bullock) is Oprah-famous since she went undercover to foil a Miss United States pageant. Snorting Gracie is back to work in New York but she is so recognizable that it makes undercover work impossible. Having become useless in FBI fieldwork, Gracie is asked by McDonald, her boss (Ernie Hudson), to become the new face of the FBI. Gracie will need a stylist to help transform her back into a glamorous spokeswoman. Her team includes a hairdresser, makeup artist, and image consultant, fey-gay Joel (Diedrich Bader).

Sandra Bullock gets to wear pearls, lip gloss, and Chanel suits. She is catered to and her hair looks good. But those cheek implants? I just don’t know. Let’s say “bad lighting” and leave it at that.

When Gracie’s friend Cheryl, Miss United States (Heather Burns), is kidnapped along with pageant host Stan Field (William Shatner, not doing a riff on Mr. Pageant Donald Trump) in Las Vegas, she is assigned to travel west with an angry, bitter FBI agent as a bodyguard. Tough guy Agent Sam Fuller (Regina King) is mad.

With Gracie’s love life in the dumps following the exit of her cute boyfriend, she is left with Sam as a platonic life mate. But Sam is resentful that she is paired with the famous new face of the FBI. She does not consider this career-enhancing, though she should. What is Sam’s problem?

Can dumb people become FBI agents? Apparently they can if they live in Nevada. FBI headquarters in Nevada is run by Agent Collins (Treat Williams) who assigns slow agent Jeff Foreman (Enrique Murciano) to squire Gracie’s team around Las Vegas. Nothing much happens since the kidnapping story has absolutely no imagination. Why come to Las Vegas unless you can get your star into a showgirl costume? Since when does a Tina Turner female impersonator need a showgirl as a backup “singer”? This is sloppy story construction.

Okay, so Bullock needs the sequel cash to continue building her Lake Austin mansion. Supposed to be built for $1.4 million, the house budget ballooned to $6.5 million and Bullock sued her contractor. Did this snafu generate a pasted-together sequel?

Screenwriter Marc Lawrence has written maybe 2 cute lines. The rest of MISS CONGENAILITY 2 is retread without an ounce of creativity or cleverness. I’m glad Miss Bullock can now get that marble floor installed.

Gracie Hart: Sandra Bullock
Sam Fuller: Regina King
Jeff Foreman: Enrique Murciano
Stan Fields: William Shatner
McDonald: Ernie Hudson
Cheryl: Heather Burns
Joel: Diedrich Bader
Collins: Treat Williams
Lou Steele: Abraham Benrubi
Karl Steele: Nick Offerman
Carol Fields: Eileen Brennan
Regis Philbin, Dolly Parton

Director: John Pasquin
Screenwriter: Marc Lawrence
Producers: Sandra Bullock, Marc Lawrence
Executive producers: Mary McLaglen, John Kirby, Bruce Berman
Director of photography: Peter Menzies Jr.
Production designer: Maher Ahmad
Co-producer: Gesine Bullock-Prado
Costume designer: Deena Appel
Editor: Garth Craven

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